The Mystery of Primal Play

Now, when I say ‘mystery’, I don’t mean it’s a mystery to us all, like some kind of exclusive club. It’s a mystery because this particular fetish is relatively new in the BDSM community. I was also oblivious to its existence until just a couple days ago. I was considering making a Fetlife account the other day, hoping I could network with more people like me, and it asked me what role I assume. I clicked the drop-down menu and looked at the choices. Normally, I would have just chosen ‘Master’, but I was curious, and the list was kinda long, so I read over them all.

Near the bottom, I saw some roles I’d never heard of, which went by the names ‘Primal, Primal Dom, Primal Sub’. I was intrigued and did a little research into what exactly a Primal is.What I found turned out to be a style of BDSM I always kinda knew existed, but I’d been simply attributing it as just being a Dom. Furthermore, it occurred to me, I may actually be a Primal. I’ve had many experiences in the past where I acted in ways described by many others as the behavior of a Primal Dom, but only recently has that behavior actually been given a name.

Now, to get into specifics, it’s a style of BDSM that deals with sex in a manner that is much more animalistic than conventional sex, or what they refer to as ‘Primal Play’. It’s not just being a bit more rough with your partner that makes this animalistic, no, I mean this in a much more literal sense. People who are primal tend to take the roles of predator and prey, where one member dominates, and mates, with their partner in the same way as, let’s say, a wolf or lion mates with their mate.

Believe me, I had to do A LOT of research to really understand what all of this means, and what the act entails. Disclaimer: Not all primals act exactly as I describe below. This is just an overall list of attributes. You do not need to perform all of these acts to be considered a primal.

To start, primals will often abandon the rules and protocols of BDSM/D.s., and forego the use of toys in lieu of hair, skin, nails, and teeth. Next, the primals would perform a kind of foreplay involving one participant capturing and taking control of the other, like a kind of ‘take-down’. During this act, there may be a lot of sniffing, growling, scratching and/or biting. Some primals have admitted their mate’s scent plays a big role in attraction. Furthermore, both participants may struggle to gain control over the other, which allows room for those of us who may play the bratty sub who doesn’t always like to be the submissive one. For this reason, primal play can look like wrestling, or fighting, and sometimes involves using ropes on their partner to establish dominance.

3118045My primal traits consist more of the biting, growling, scratching, and playing the ‘Alpha’ role.

As you can imagine, primal play is often very passionate and sensual for participants, and couples who regularly engage in primal play recommend every couple try it out at least once. The main aspect of primal play are the emotions involved with it. Whether those emotions are lust, happiness, loneliness, or even silliness, it can be expressed in primal play. It can be rough, or it can be gentle, but ultimately, it is always emotional. Sometimes, participants can engage in play without the need for sex whatsoever.

By now, you may be thinking this sounds a bit like the ‘furries’ or ‘yiffy’ sub-genre. Well, you’d be partially correct in assuming this. Primal play and these animal-like role-playing sub-genres are definitely separate, but have a lot of overlapping qualities. But, as I’ve said, you don’t have to engage in all the acts I’ve mentioned to be considered primal.

Along with all the research I’ve done, I’ve noticed there’s not a lot of erotica involving primal play. I understand that it’s new, so many writers probably aren’t aware of it as a niche, but I’d be interested to see what kind of stories people write using primal play. I can imagine, if someone were to write one, it would involve a lot of references to animal-styled sex and seduction. Components of Primal stories could be such things as a partner’s scent, mounting, description of skin and hair, struggle for dominance, maybe even some playful escaping, only to be captured by the alpha again.

If anyone reading this happens to get a story idea involving primal play, and writes it, I’d love to read it. You guys are always welcome to use the ‘Contact Me’ section to send me your stories. Or, if all you have is an idea, you can always tell me about it, and I may write it myself. If I like your story, I might even feature it as an Erotic Bite. If you’d like to learn more about how to engage in primal play, I’ve seen a very helpful video all about it on Kink University, a branch of Kink.com(NSFW obviously). The video demonstrates many of the acts involved and explains the dynamics of the human connection created. Disclaimer: They don’t pay me to advertise their site, I just genuinely think it’s an excellent resource.

Out of curiosity, are any of you primal? Have any of you had experiences in primal play, or engage in it a certain way? Feel free to tell me your experiences in the comments below.

To read more posts about Primal Play, Click here.

  27 comments for “The Mystery of Primal Play

  1. November 6, 2016 at 3:01 am

    Something about that appeals to me. I would say my character matches that of a primal domme. I do like the chase and prefer my pets to have some fight as opposed to just grovelling… Makes the game more fun for me…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. kittyluvscompany
    November 6, 2016 at 10:34 pm

    Primal kitten.. if such a thing exists! I relate with your sentence about scent playing a major role. It does for me

    Liked by 1 person

  3. RedtailFaux
    June 2, 2017 at 9:31 pm

    I didn’t realize this kind of play even had a name until recently. I’ve just considered it role play. As a sub, I like to know my Dom can actually handle my strength (emotional and physical) and primal play gives me the opportunity to “make him earn or prove” he is strong enough. Knowing my Dom is capable makes it easier to let go of the “weight of the world” that I carry with me as part of my responsibility in my career and family. That weightlessness is one of the main reasons BDSM is so attractive to me and is essential for me to feel fulfilled in a scene or relationship.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. RSH
    August 7, 2017 at 12:42 am

    Sorry, could not send this directly to you. So heres some of my oersonak research into it and whay I have become inside my own journey. The storyI well that s something ive had real ecperience with.
    Primal play… animalistic at it very primal core, the need to mate… from the most brutal of fights to the most sensual of beautiful acts… Many choose to be the wolf, others well, many animals take form here… for myself, I did choose the wolf for many reasons the wolf is the animal of my choice…. only the Alpha male and Alpha female of any given pack are the ones who will mate finding through a few hours of research…. at best for life they take this journey, together they breed the very life that becomes there pack… Once again proving only the strongest survive…

    I find myself running this very scene through my mind as if it has already taken place… Night falls, the air is heavy with your scent, I can almost taste your sex from a distance…. with one look into my eyes you know its time to run for your life, the chase is on…. like a scared child you bolt through the woods in hopes of not being caught, run little girl there is no place to for you to hide from me…. with one swift lunge you are tackled to the ground, your arms pinned behind your back, struggle you may but to no prevail I am stronger…. you fight to flee, your not going anywhere till I have had you…. ripping through your clothes with no regard, naked and helpless before me I now remind you who I am, for it is you I have chosen as you have chosen me…. the strong ones…. mine for life….

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 12, 2018 at 9:36 pm

      I didn’t understand this drive or need until after married. It scares him to death lol. Primal Prey btw

      Liked by 1 person

    • February 12, 2018 at 9:38 pm

      I had not read this completely, I got distracted right before the scenario, ugh lol

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Morning Frost
    August 18, 2017 at 8:11 pm

    I am very new to the BDSM world, as I am in the middle of the end of a 20 year marriage that was never hugely sexually gratifying or adventurous. As I’ve talked to friends and done some research, I’ve figured out that I am Primal. I want the give and take, the fight for dominance, the deep connection, etc. It’s something I’ve always set aside or kept hidden/tied down, because I didn’t understand it, didn’t know how to control how this approach affected others, etc. I am interested to let that side out more and see how it goes. I’m just happy to have a category that seems to fit me, even if I’m not entirely sure how to tap into it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • August 18, 2017 at 8:16 pm

      I would recommend you use this time to explore your sexuality, and connect with others who share this interest. Being deprived of adventure for that long, it may take some time before you can dive in. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dip a toe in first.

      Like

      • Morning Frost
        August 18, 2017 at 8:35 pm

        I agree completely. Definitely planning to tread carefully with someone I trust. I am sure it will take some time and experimentation to be able to truly connect to the primal. As caged as I feel right now, I know it will be worth the wait in the long run. A good hunter can be patient.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. January 18, 2018 at 8:53 pm

    I have always wonder what comes over me sometimes during sex. I get the urge to attack sometimes and want to be taken down hard. I am a masochist, and enjoy pain, when pain is a part of intercourse though, I get very “primal”, I can’t control it, I start to pant and growl, and want to turn on my partner and force him to take control, take me down, and fight me. When I feel this urge coming on I try to curb it, as deep down I don’t really want to hurt my partner. It scares me sometimes. There have been a few times that I don’t remember and I was told that I became like a trapped animal fighting for my freedom. My partner handled the situation well, from what he told me, but now when I get these urges he slows things down and keeps me from going into the that zone completely. I feel these urges coming for frequently, I don’t know if I am doing the right thing by trying to curb the urges or not, all I know is they are getting harder to control. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I have talked to my partner about these feelings and he said he has a few ideas that may help me release these urges in a safe way. Although he has not filled me in on his plan. I have dreams all the time about this and they are becoming more and more frequent, violent, and erotic. I truly do feel as though I could hurt my partner and if that ever happened, I don’t know that I could live with myself.

    Like

    • picadilli
      July 25, 2018 at 12:55 pm

      I told my partner hurt me before I hurt you…I understand. For some of us this isn’t role playing.

      Like

  7. Morning Frost
    January 19, 2018 at 7:56 pm

    Reading Personal Journey’s post, I feel like updating mine. I have found a seriously Primal partner, while he is the one who fears losing complete control, as the above post has mentioned (and has with other partners), he is incredibly patient, careful, and thoughtful with me. Before we even met in person, we talked about many, many options to see what was ok, what I wanted to try, etc. It was amazing. I had some hard stops that are things he enjoys, but he was fine with leaving them off the menu (yes, I literally wrote out a menu, it worked well as kind of a contract, plus planning it was fun and built a delicious tension).

    All of this built an incredibly deep trust ahead of time that allowed our first encounters to be amazing. He was good at staying relatively within my boundaries, and gently nudging the ones I said I would consider pushing. I was pleasantly surprised at the things I’d never considered that I actually loved and craved more of.

    A friend noticed one of his bites on the side of my throat (a formerly hard stop), and I hadn’t even realized he had gotten that close. I remembered the bite and that I had enjoyed it, but not determined the exact location until she said something. When I mentioned it to him, he chuckled and said he’d wondered how long it was going to take me to notice.

    It has been interesting as our relationship has continued, the things I want and am interested in exploring. I don’t know that I’m anywhere near complete loss of control (I’m SUPER controlled in my day to day life, probably because, in part, of my inherent Primal nature), so we will see. He has talked about things that would make him lose control, and he would like to try them with me, but is afraid he’ll hurt me. He is ridiculously strong, and I have some back issues, haha.

    He’s an amazing Alpha, he never submits, but always makes sure I’m getting what I want and need. He pushes my boundaries, but respects them when it’s too much or not what I want. I feel both safe and hunted.

    We both enjoy the fight and the take-down. I let him get a hand around my throat, which I never thought I would allow. EVER. We talked about it in detail, and at a few points I let him know that I was considering it. I wrote a narrative involving it, and my newer thoughts on it, so I think that let him be willing to chance me not freaking out. No actual choking, but usually, even the thought of a hand or teeth anywhere near my throat would cause panic. This was very interesting. I was held down, restrained, but still somehow felt in control.

    He has started telling me what he wants and likes, beyond the “I’ll take what I want when I want it, unless you say “no”, and as long as you get what you want, I’m happy” response. I like that we want to tend to one another’s needs, and allow each other to lose control a bit. I’m sure I’ve never seen him lose control, but he lets go a little more each time we meet, and that is incredible.

    Sorry to blather on, but this is such a new, wonderful aspect of my life, I have to talk about it, but there aren’t many who would get it. Even referring to him as my Alpha would weird out most of my friends, but as a 40 year old woman, “boyfriend” is a lame term.

    Liked by 1 person

    • picadilli
      July 25, 2018 at 2:49 pm

      No not many people would get it but I have found that like attracts like and the ones that figure me out do so on an instinctual level… They can smell it…

      Like

  8. February 12, 2018 at 9:28 pm

    For years I was into “this” though, “this” had no name. I relate to Primal Prey. I’ve had a few experiences over the years I’d categorize as Primal. I have a few writings similar, but really just come off as really rough almost abusive sex lol. I now see this as a challenge though! Good read, thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 2 people

  9. March 15, 2018 at 9:08 pm

    This is really interesting. The couple of people I encountered who identified as primal it seemed as though they wanted to be rough without the rules of bdsm or any of the equipment. I never really understood it in the animalistic way you’ve described. Primal sex is the only form of kinky fuckery I’ve ever really had tbh, but I think I’m more of a ‘count the spanks’ kinda girl lol

    Did you ever write any primal erotica? I’d love to read it.

    Aurora x

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 15, 2018 at 9:11 pm

      I didn’t. But I had a reader who did. She gave me permission to publish her story on my site. It’s called Lunch for Primals. Check it out 😁

      Liked by 2 people

    • sebastiansdaughter
      March 18, 2018 at 10:06 pm

      My experiences with primal are new and with only one person, but with us there are all the rules. Before we met in person, we discussed everything from possible options, things we like, don’t like, hard stops, soft stops, safe words, everything. The trust that was built ahead of time made everything even more incredible. There is definitely an animalistic approach and side to things, and as I’m exploring it, I see it as more than just what I like in the bedroom. Rather it’s an entire approach to life. One I’ve always had, but never put a name to. I only knew that my general way of interacting with people is usually seen as incredibly intimidating, especially by men.

      The concept of physical restraint by your partner is more fun and exciting than being tied. The fight/foreplay is just amazing and arousing. More than a tease, it’s to draw out the hunter in your partner. I’m loving exploring this side that always hid in the background, but never knew enough about it to let it out. I’m so happy to have a partner who is patient and willing to let me figure things out at a speed with which I’m comfortable.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. March 19, 2018 at 9:58 am

    Years ago my lover Ryan and I used to play a game of Hunter which involved a darkened room and the chase. Only guy I had that dynamic with. But I’m only just seriously beginning to discover my kinks. Doing a quiz to see where I’m placed Predator/prey dynamics were very high. But i’ve not really followed up on this at all. So I appreciate the article.

    I am now collaborating with a photographer and have plans down the track to do a photoshoot in a forest which reworks the story of Little Red Riding Hood. As I’m the only model I get to be predator and prey which should be interesting and difficult.
    I’ve just bought a faux fur tail for the final series of images…

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Stacey
    March 26, 2018 at 1:03 pm

    My alpha and I are he is my alpha and IAM his tigress I have just been introduced to this a week ago. But the emotion and caring ways of protection and what not is the best my alpha takes great care of me no matter where or what we are doing. We are a 24/7 roll CPL and before I was jus a submissive who has been out of the game for to Long until last week because of my late husband wasn’t into any kind of BDSM so I had became a vanilla and from that to primal right out the gate I didn’t even know that it was a thing but can’t wait to see what lies ahead for the two of us.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Kitty
    May 2, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    This was so very helpful i personally am new to BDSM i say that but i have been into it actively 1 yr so it still seems so new. I started with the mind set that i am a submissive, i get my joy giving in and pleasing my master. being with hi the last year i have grown an changed an found this primal side in my as a prey an i kinda struggle with it but reading this has helped a lot. also there is A LOT of erotica books out there about primal an sex they are very yummy. Funny whats how i first found out it turned me on an was like hey i act like that sometimes. your post was so helpful thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Alexia
    June 22, 2018 at 4:31 am

    This category definitely fits me! I can’t even like masturbate because I 100% need to be able to smell the other person….pheramones are like a huge thing for me. I also love to “hunt” them (even tho generally he ends up dominate)

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Diane Aisha Monday
    July 17, 2018 at 1:32 am

    I know this is an older post, but I’m pretty sure “primal” is even older.
    The “consensual non-consent” scene approximately 200 pages into The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand (published 1943) has elements of primal activity, including biting, non-verbal communication, a take down, and a momentary escape for the bottom (Dominique) before the top (Howard) takes her down again. Just thought you might like to know. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • July 17, 2018 at 3:16 am

      I’ll definitely have to look into that. Thank you, Diane. 🙂

      Like

  15. Elena
    September 17, 2018 at 9:14 am

    My first time trying this, it inspired a poem:

    Predator

    I could see the shame in your eyes
    And behind that, Power
    Raw and primal
    That’s what I wanted
    You sat quietly
    Stalking your prey
    Waiting until just the right moment
    By the time you arose, I was aching for you
    Then you descended fully
    You can’t rape the willing

    Liked by 1 person

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