Now, when I say ‘mystery’, I don’t mean it’s a mystery to us all, like some kind of exclusive club. It’s a mystery because this particular fetish is relatively new in the BDSM community. I was also oblivious to its existence until just a couple days ago. I was considering making a Fetlife account the other day, hoping I could network with more people like me, and it asked me what role I assume. I clicked the drop-down menu and looked at the choices. Normally, I would have just chosen ‘Master’, but I was curious, and the list was kinda long, so I read over them all.
Near the bottom, I saw some roles I’d never heard of, which went by the names ‘Primal, Primal Dom, Primal Sub’. I was intrigued and did a little research into what exactly a Primal is.What I found turned out to be a style of BDSM I always kinda knew existed, but I’d been simply attributing it as just being a Dom. Furthermore, it occurred to me, I may actually be a Primal. I’ve had many experiences in the past where I acted in ways described by many others as the behavior of a Primal Dom, but only recently has that behavior actually been given a name.
Now, to get into specifics, it’s a style of BDSM that deals with sex in a manner that is much more animalistic than conventional sex, or what they refer to as ‘Primal Play’. It’s not just being a bit more rough with your partner that makes this animalistic, no, I mean this in a much more literal sense. People who are primal tend to take the roles of predator and prey, where one member dominates, and mates, with their partner in the same way as, let’s say, a wolf or lion mates with their mate.
Believe me, I had to do A LOT of research to really understand what all of this means, and what the act entails. Disclaimer: Not all primals act exactly as I describe below. This is just an overall list of attributes. You do not need to perform all of these acts to be considered a primal.
To start, primals will often abandon the rules and protocols of BDSM/D.s., and forego the use of toys in lieu of hair, skin, nails, and teeth. Next, the primals would perform a kind of foreplay involving one participant capturing and taking control of the other, like a kind of ‘take-down’. During this act, there may be a lot of sniffing, growling, scratching and/or biting. Some primals have admitted their mate’s scent plays a big role in attraction. Furthermore, both participants may struggle to gain control over the other, which allows room for those of us who may play the bratty sub who doesn’t always like to be the submissive one. For this reason, primal play can look like wrestling, or fighting, and sometimes involves using ropes on their partner to establish dominance.
My primal traits consist more of the biting, growling, scratching, and playing the ‘Alpha’ role.
As you can imagine, primal play is often very passionate and sensual for participants, and couples who regularly engage in primal play recommend every couple try it out at least once. The main aspect of primal play are the emotions involved with it. Whether those emotions are lust, happiness, loneliness, or even silliness, it can be expressed in primal play. It can be rough, or it can be gentle, but ultimately, it is always emotional. Sometimes, participants can engage in play without the need for sex whatsoever.
By now, you may be thinking this sounds a bit like the ‘furries’ or ‘yiffy’ sub-genre. Well, you’d be partially correct in assuming this. Primal play and these animal-like role-playing sub-genres are definitely separate, but have a lot of overlapping qualities. But, as I’ve said, you don’t have to engage in all the acts I’ve mentioned to be considered primal.
Along with all the research I’ve done, I’ve noticed there’s not a lot of erotica involving primal play. I understand that it’s new, so many writers probably aren’t aware of it as a niche, but I’d be interested to see what kind of stories people write using primal play. I can imagine, if someone were to write one, it would involve a lot of references to animal-styled sex and seduction. Components of Primal stories could be such things as a partner’s scent, mounting, description of skin and hair, struggle for dominance, maybe even some playful escaping, only to be captured by the alpha again.
If anyone reading this happens to get a story idea involving primal play, and writes it, I’d love to read it. You guys are always welcome to use the ‘Contact Me’ section to send me your stories. Or, if all you have is an idea, you can always tell me about it, and I may write it myself. If I like your story, I might even feature it as an Erotic Bite. If you’d like to learn more about how to engage in primal play, I’ve seen a very helpful video all about it on Kink University, a branch of Kink.com(NSFW obviously). The video demonstrates many of the acts involved and explains the dynamics of the human connection created. Disclaimer: They don’t pay me to advertise their site, I just genuinely think it’s an excellent resource.
Out of curiosity, are any of you primal? Have any of you had experiences in primal play, or engage in it a certain way? Feel free to tell me your experiences in the comments below.
Also see: I’m A Primal, Here’s What That Means