The Mystery of Primal Play

Now, when I say ‘mystery’, I don’t mean it’s a mystery to us all, like some kind of exclusive club. It’s a mystery because this particular fetish is relatively new in the BDSM community. I was also oblivious to it’s existence until just a couple days ago. I was considering making a Fetlife account the other day, hoping I could network with more people like me, and it asked me what role I assume. I clicked the drop-down menu, and looked at the choices. Normally, I would have just chosen ‘Master’, but I was curious, and the list was kinda long, so I read over them all.

Near the bottom, I saw some roles I’d never heard of, which went by the names ‘Primal, Primal Dom, Primal Sub’. I was intrigued, and did a little research into what exactly a Primal is.What I found turned out to be a style of BDSM I always kinda knew existed, but I’d been simply attributing it as just being a Dom. Furthermore, it occurred to me, I may actually be a Primal. I’ve had many experiences in the past where I acted in ways described by many others as the behavior of a Primal Dom, but only recently has that behavior actually been given a name.

Now, to get into specifics, it’s a style of BDSM that deals with sex in a manner that is much more animalistic than conventional sex, or what they refer to as ‘Primal Play’. It’s not just being a bit more rough with your partner that makes this animalistic, no, I mean this in a much more literal sense. People who are primal tend to take the roles of predator and prey, where one member dominates, and mates, with their partner in the same way as, let’s say, a wolf or lion mates with their mate.

Believe me, I had to do A LOT of research to really understand what all of this means, and what the act entails. Disclaimer: Not all primals act exactly as I describe below. This is just an overall list of attributes. You do not need to perform all of these acts to be considered a primal.

To start, primals will often abandon the rules and protocols of BDSM/D.s., and forego the use of toys in lieu of hair, skin, nails, and teeth. Next, the primals would perform a kind of foreplay involving one participant capturing and taking control of the other, like a kind of ‘take-down’. During this act, there may be a lot of sniffing, growling, scratching and/or biting. Some primals have admitted their mate’s scent plays a big role in attraction. Furthermore, both participants may struggle to gain control over the other, which allows room for those of us who may play the bratty sub who doesn’t always like to be the submissive one. For this reason, primal play can look like wrestling, or fighting, and sometimes involves using ropes on their partner to establish dominance.

3118045My primal traits consist more of the biting, growling, scratching, and playing the ‘Alpha’ role.

As you can imagine, primal play is often very passionate and sensual for participants, and couples who regularly engage in primal play recommend every couple try it out at least once. The main aspect of primal play are the emotions involved with it. Whether those emotions are lust, happiness, loneliness, or even silliness, it can be expressed in primal play. It can be rough, or it can be gentle, but ultimately, it is always emotional. Sometimes, participants can engage in play without the need for sex whatsoever.

By now, you may be thinking this sounds a bit like the ‘furries’ or ‘yiffy’ sub-genre. Well, you’d be partially correct in assuming this. Primal play and these animal-like role playing sub-genres are definitely separate, but have a lot of overlapping qualities. But, as I’ve said, you don’t have to engage in all the acts I’ve mentioned to be considered primal.

Along with all the research I’ve done, I’ve noticed there’s not a lot of erotica involving primal play. I understand that it’s new, so many writers probably aren’t aware of it as a niche, but I’d be interested to see what kind of stories people write using primal play. I can imagine, if someone were to write one, it would involve a lot of references to animal-styled sex and seduction. Components of Primal stories could be such things as a partner’s scent, mounting, description of skin and hair, struggle for dominance, maybe even some playful escaping, only to be captured by the alpha again.

If anyone reading this happens to get a story idea involving primal play, and writes it, I’d love to read it. You guys are always welcome to use the ‘Contact Me’ section to send me your stories. Or, if all you have is an idea, you can always tell me about it, and I may write it myself. If I like your story, I might even feature it as an Erotic Bite. If you’d like to learn more about how to engage in primal play, I’ve seen a very helpful video all about it on Kink University, a branch of Kink.com(NSFW obviously). The video demonstrates many of the acts involved, and explains the dynamics of the human connection created. Disclaimer: They don’t pay me to advertise their site, I just genuinely think it’s an excellent resource.

Out of curiosity, are any of you primal? Have any of you had experiences in primal play, or engage in it a certain way? Feel free to tell me your experiences in the comments below.

8 thoughts on “The Mystery of Primal Play

  1. I didn’t realize this kind of play even had a name until recently. I’ve just considered it role play. As a sub, I like to know my Dom can actually handle my strength (emotional and physical) and primal play gives me the opportunity to “make him earn or prove” he is strong enough. Knowing my Dom is capable makes it easier to let go of the “weight of the world” that I carry with me as part of my responsibility in my career and family. That weightlessness is one of the main reasons BDSM is so attractive to me and is essential for me to feel fulfilled in a scene or relationship.

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  2. Sorry, could not send this directly to you. So heres some of my oersonak research into it and whay I have become inside my own journey. The storyI well that s something ive had real ecperience with.
    Primal play… animalistic at it very primal core, the need to mate… from the most brutal of fights to the most sensual of beautiful acts… Many choose to be the wolf, others well, many animals take form here… for myself, I did choose the wolf for many reasons the wolf is the animal of my choice…. only the Alpha male and Alpha female of any given pack are the ones who will mate finding through a few hours of research…. at best for life they take this journey, together they breed the very life that becomes there pack… Once again proving only the strongest survive…

    I find myself running this very scene through my mind as if it has already taken place… Night falls, the air is heavy with your scent, I can almost taste your sex from a distance…. with one look into my eyes you know its time to run for your life, the chase is on…. like a scared child you bolt through the woods in hopes of not being caught, run little girl there is no place to for you to hide from me…. with one swift lunge you are tackled to the ground, your arms pinned behind your back, struggle you may but to no prevail I am stronger…. you fight to flee, your not going anywhere till I have had you…. ripping through your clothes with no regard, naked and helpless before me I now remind you who I am, for it is you I have chosen as you have chosen me…. the strong ones…. mine for life….

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  3. I am very new to the BDSM world, as I am in the middle of the end of a 20 year marriage that was never hugely sexually gratifying or adventurous. As I’ve talked to friends and done some research, I’ve figured out that I am Primal. I want the give and take, the fight for dominance, the deep connection, etc. It’s something I’ve always set aside or kept hidden/tied down, because I didn’t understand it, didn’t know how to control how this approach affected others, etc. I am interested to let that side out more and see how it goes. I’m just happy to have a category that seems to fit me, even if I’m not entirely sure how to tap into it.

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    1. I would recommend you use this time to explore your sexuality, and connect with others who share this interest. Being deprived of adventure for that long, it may take some time before you can dive in. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dip a toe in first.

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      1. I agree completely. Definitely planning to tread carefully with someone I trust. I am sure it will take some time and experimentation to be able to truly connect to the primal. As caged as I feel right now, I know it will be worth the wait in the long run. A good hunter can be patient.

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