As I was doing some research for an upcoming story involving cuckoldry, I realized there was much more to this fetish than first meets the eye. As a writer of erotica, I like to understand why people take part in certain fetishes, and what appeals to them to commit to it. In turn, I like to share what I find with you, so readers can understand more about what arouses them, and writers can use the knowledge for their own work as well. It’s simple enough to proclaim that some people are just weak-willed, or easily manipulated because they’ll never do any better. But there’s much more to it than meets the eye. Cuckoldry is actually far more psychological than it is sociological, and is not at all limited to less than average-looking men. Nor is it limited to just men.
Men are often described as either Alpha, Beta, or Omega, and I’ll explain how this fits in a second. Alphas are generally the leaders of the pack, either superior in looks, strength, or intelligence, but all of them are goal-oriented. Betas are not as superior, but are best recognized for working hard to achieve what they want, despite what natural features they may lack. Omegas are the low men on the totem pole, and are neither superior, nor talented, in any regard. When most people envision a cuckold, the first thing to pop into their mind is the omega male archetype.
Now, given his appearance, lack of confidence, and low success rates, omegas have every reason in the world to submit to cuckoldry. Submission is in their nature, because they know they can never do any better than what they are given. The reason I’m stating all of this is cuckoldry is very much a play on an exchange of power within couples. But it’s not just the omegas who are in the power struggle. Beta males often take up cuckoldry voluntarily, to the point of taking the initiative to find a bull. I should clarify, a ‘Bull’ is an Alpha male who agrees to have sex with the cuck’s wife, often right in front of the cuck. But let’s start from the beginning:
A Cuckold is a man who passively submits to their wife, often called the Cuck Queen. The wife will normally voice her displeasure with her husband, and demand that she recieves the satisfaction she desires. The wife will then satisfy those desires with a bigger, stronger, more virile alpha male, known as the Bull. Sometimes, the wife will find a man to be the Bull, herself, and sometimes she’ll tell the Cuckold to find one for her. The Cuckold will usually do whatever she wants, because the wife is often much better-looking than the Cuckold could hope for, and would do anything not to lose her love and affection. Both Shakespeare and Chaucer have referred to Cuckoldry as “The Great Shame”.
In other cases, the couple agrees to strengthen their relationship by participating in Cuckoldry voluntarily. For these men, Cuckoldry is a form of psychological sadomasochism, and they get off on these types of relationships. For them, being on the outside is better than the act of sex itself. As the sex goes on between the wife and Bull, the wife will usually insult her husband, or humiliate him by describing how much better the Bull is. This kind of debasing is exactly what these Cuckolds are looking for. The worse they feel, the better it is for them.
Motivations for them to take part in Cuckoldry voluntarily tend to vary from person to person. Most of the time, it’s accessing the part of the male brain associated with mating competition. When males of any species detect that a male is with their mate, it drives them to copulate with their mate even more, or they risk missing their opportunity to procreate. Human males are no different in this regard: if another man has been with their woman, their jealousy and desire for her goes through the fucking roof, even though we have no idea why. This is especially interesting when you keep in mind that couples who perform cuckoldry are required to abandon the ‘ownership’ mentality beforehand.
If this particular fetish seems a bit one-sided to you, then you’d be correct. In fact, there is a form of this fetish that spins the roles in the completely opposite direction. When a woman chooses to become passively submissive to her alpha male husband, and allow him to satisfy his sexual desires with any woman he chooses, this is known as Cuckqueanry. The wife, or Cuckquean, will watch as her husband has sex with another woman, drawing arousal from the show. At the end of it, the husband will invite his wife to join in the sex, either with him, or just with the other woman, if the wife is bisexual, or she won’t be able to have sex at all.
Although not a requirement, the sexually dominant male may debase his wife, just as a wife would debase the Cuckold. In most cases, this doesn’t happen, but will if the husband and wife are trying to play out some kind of roles. Sometimes it’s chosen voluntarily, and other times, the wife may take interest in Cuckquaenry after experimenting with swinging, or wife-swapping. Overall, it’s very rare that a wife will take up Cuckqueanry.
Have any of you ever tried Cuckoldry/Cuckqueanry? What was the appeal in it for you? Who was the other man/woman you invited? Have you written any stories about Cuckoldry/Cuckqueanry? Tell me about it in the comments below, or in the “Wanna Chat?” tab at the top.