I’m A Primal, Here’s What That Means

A little over a year ago, I came across something completely new to me when I made an account on Fetlife. As I created my account, one of the questions they asked for was my BDSM role. I was going to select ‘Master’ as I always had, but found a few different options further down the dropdown list. Each of them was listed as ‘Primal’, ‘Primal Dom’, and ‘Primal sub’. In my curiosity, I went on to find out just what a Primal is, which led to the discovery that I am a Primal and prompted me to write an article all about what I found, and what makes someone a Primal. That article is now one of the top referenced articles on the subject of Primal Play, and is, by far, the most viewed page on my site.

But as I go back to find out what is being said about Primal Play, I find there’s still a lot of misinformation out there. Some think of it as a type of sexual orientation, which it’s not. Some think of it as just another fetish, which it’s not. Others who engage in the Primal lifestyle call it a state of being, but I would prefer to think of it as a state of mind, instead. A state of being implies integrating it into your every-day life, whereas a state of mind makes it something that exists inside you, where it can be unleashed when appropriate. Of course, there are those who believe being a Primal means to be a beast among people, but Jungian psychology provides insight to the contrary.

All of us wear masks in society, and we wear a different mask based on who we want to be too different people. We show one side of ourselves and act a different version of ourselves, around friends or family. At night, on the weekend, we wear the mask of the party animal who goes to a nightclub to drink and dance with strangers. But to a certain circle of people, at certain times of the day, we are the Primal. That’s all being a Primal really is, just another mask. Not who we are, but a version of ourselves we let free when we have the right people around us.

With all of this, I feel a much more comprehensive discussion about being a Primal is necessary. Starting with the one thing that always drives me absolutely crazy when people complain about it is the ‘labels’. You can’t imagine how much it makes me cringe to have read and heard people talk about how they don’t like using the word ‘prey’ when referring to the sub in a Primal relationship. “Oh, ‘prey’ is food, ‘prey’ is visceral, I don’t identify as something you eat” Gawd, just shut up, Tiffany. It annoys the hell out of me because the concept of misnomers seems completely lost on them. Yes, the Primal dom can also be referred to as the Hunter, Predator, or sometimes the animal they relate to the most, like Wolf. Likewise, the Primal sub can also be referred to as Prey, Mate, or Kitten. The use of these names really only comes down to personal preference and not the original definitions.

In recent weeks, I’ve seen people talking on Reddit and Twitter about their partner acting unusually during sex, describing them as sometimes acting ‘possessed’ or like ‘chain chomp’ from Mario. As funny as it’s been, I can still recognize the need for people to understand what exactly happens during Primal play. I’ll be going over details quickly, but you can get a full description of what Primal play is my earlier post. In instances of sex with Primals, there are three primary groups: Primal with a non-Primal, Primal dom with a Primal sub, and Primal dom with a Primal dom.

Primal vs. Non-Primal

When a Primal is with someone who is not accustomed to Primal sex, it’s understandable they would keep that to themselves. However, in the heat of the moment, the Primal side can come out, surprising the unsuspecting partner. Because Primal play can be animalistic, rough, and is considered edge-play by the BDSM community, being rough with a Primal can trigger them to become the beast they keep inside. Other times, their Primal behavior can be triggered by things like scent, grabbing of hair, clawing with nails, etc., as these are acts often performed by those who engage in Primal play.

If your partner is showing signs of animalistic growling, snarling, maybe even trying to wrestle you, and you’re not a Primal, there’s a couple choices you have: engage, or calm. Don’t react with any sort of ‘defensive’ action like holding them down, no, that’s just feeding the Primal side. Instead, slow your movements, hold off on any actions, and it will quickly fade. Inform your Primal partner that you feel uncomfortable with them acting that way. In most cases, they will understand, and keep the Primal on a leash, so to speak.

Primal Dom vs. Primal Sub

In most cases, this is the ideal relationship between two Primals. A Primal prefers the use of hair, nails, teeth, and good ol’ personal strength in lieu of the traditional ropes, chains, whips, and gags commonly used in BDSM. The relationship works well because they can satisfy each other’s needs. One likes to be chased, the other likes to chase. One likes to be scratched, the other likes to scratch.


At the start, the dom will initiate foreplay with a tousle of their sub’s hair, smelling their skin, and move their hands across their body. This may sound like any other kind of wild foreplay, but it’s then followed by the chase. The sub, or ‘prey’, will sometimes give the Hunter a look, and they’re off, running away for the purpose of getting chased by the Hunter. The chase continues on, even when cornered, and won’t end until the Prey submits, and gives themselves over to the Hunter as their prize. The Hunter is most often an Alpha type who enjoys dominance by submission. While the Prey is often the bratty type who has more fun instigating their partner, making them work for their prize.

Primal Dom vs. Primal Dom

Now here’s where things will get interesting, as you may already suspect. If the Dom vs. Sub experience is a hunter catching its prey, two Primal doms would be akin to two Alphas competing for dominance. In my own experimentation of my Primal side, I’ve experienced both of these, and competing with another Alpha is simply exhilarating. In a normal Primal Predator/Prey scenario, the power play will always flow one way, but in Alpha vs. Alpha, the flow of power, the control, and dominance is constantly moving back and forth.

Instead of having a chase, one Alpha will begin by challenging the other by getting close to their partner and striking first, either with a scratch or a bite. Once engaged, the two will wrestle for who will have dominance over the other. The main difference between the Prey is that the other Alpha will continually try to regain dominance. Not just in foreplay, but during sex as well. This ongoing power exchange can create a lot of sexual energy between them which can result in a powerful climax for both of them.

I hope this can provide some much-needed perspective to those who don’t know much about Primal play, as it may be experienced, as well as those who are curious, or just getting into Primal play. Again, for those looking for a more detailed explanation of Primal Play, rather than it’s dynamics, you can always read my article on The Mystery of Primal Play. For those of you who know yourselves to be Primals, always remember to be safe with your edge-play, and be sure to practice S.S.C.(Safe, Sane, Consensual) sex. And of course, have fun, you animals!

If I may have one more moment of your time, I’d like to ask for a favor. I don’t usually ask for this, but it would really help me a lot if you could support my writing by making a donation by buying me a coffee, or subscribing to me on Patreon. I don’t allow targeted ads on my site for your convenience, so I don’t make any profit from writing this. So, if you like my stories and articles, and want to see more on a regular basis, your support would go a long way towards that.

To read more posts about Primal Play, Click here.

28 thoughts on “I’m A Primal, Here’s What That Means

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  1. The Primal side of life is one I have just discovered myself, as I have mentioned in comments on the other Primal post. Until I learned about the Primal category (?), I always assumed I was what I referred to as a Natural Dom, but when I learned more about Doms and sub/dom, I quickly realized that was completely wrong, so then I had no idea what I was.

    I agree it is a mindset, and that it is a side of myself I almost always keep locked down, because it intimidates most, and especially as a woman, most men have no idea what to do with that. The exhilaration of being able to let that out with my Alpha is amazing, both on the side of being able to feel free and safe enough to let it out, and well, the physical and emotional connection is incredible.

    I’m still figuring out how it all works. Most of the time there is not much of a fight with my Alpha, because we don’t see each other often or for very long when we do, so we pretty much just jump each other immediately. It’s hard to make someone chase you when you just want to rip their clothes off. Though there is always at least some play and fight. I have plans for more of a fight the next time we meet, which should be fun.

    Terms become interesting as I talk about him to other people. I get VERY weird looks when I refer to him as my Alpha, because it sounds like I’m in some kind of super sub/dom relationship, and it’s totally not that. At any rate, it’s fun and amazing to explore this side of myself, especially in this relationship.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is fascinating, and not something I knew or understood before, but I realise I have seen tell-tale signs of it in some other folk’s erotica. My mind is running now, wanting to craft a story with these elements in it. I will definitely let you see it if I write something. Thank you so much for your factual. frank posts.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I happen to come across this in a search for writings . Trying to figure out if the is a “label” for what I like. Very nicely written article. Thankyou!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. O…M…G…This just made something click inside of me. It explains so much about myself. I almost (but won’t) want to cry right now. Thank you for writing this. Got to love Facebook right now!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes. Funny thing is, I can see that a large portion of traffic here came from Facebook today, but not who posted it, or in which group. I’d join it if I could.


      3. I follow a lot of indie authors on Facebook. A member of one of the author groups I am in posted the link to this. She had just joined Fetlife and saw “Primal” on there and had to do research on it. She came across your blog post and posted it for others. I thought it sounded like an interesting read. When I started reading it…wow. It explained so much about me.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I’m glad my writing was helpful to you 😊 I’ll be writing about it more as I continue to delve deeper. I hope to touch on some new concepts for Primal Play in the future. If you haven’t already, you can see some of my other articles on the topic as well.


  4. I’ve been made to feel strange about smelling/biting/scratching/licking, so I try to keep it under wraps, but it gets triggered, like you said. It’s nice to find I’m not alone in this. This was really well written, thank you for explaining.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Both I and my partner are Primal. Due to my partners greater strength he usually has me ‘down’ but I don’t just give way, I still fight, and look for a way over him. Thankfully he normally wins the day and a great time is had by us both. This post is very informative so thank you for sharing, now I am off to read the other post you have written.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s natural. Problem is that society, especially in certain parts of the country. teaches women that they’re obligated to be submissive. It can be hard for men to, we’re expected to be dominant. Sometimes I just want a group of attractive women to hunt me, just the thought of it makes me shiver with pleasure


  6. I thought this was a very helpful article (along with the other ones you wrote about it). But it doesn’t help me.

    Here’s the situation.

    I started seeing someone as a FWB. We agreed we were going to experiment with BDSM. Nothing serious, just light stuff. Some light bondage, some spanking and flogging, but nothing extreme.

    I started developing cravings for her, and fantasizing about her. And one day, sitting in the car, I had an episode. I was fantasizing about her… and I started shaking uncontrollably. Gut wrenching feeling in my gut, hairs standing up on my arms, tears in my eyes, and an uncontrollable urge to scream. All related to me… wanting that woman sooo badly.

    I relate it to the primal side of me. But nothing I find online says that this is a primal instinct. I don’t feel like an animal. But no matter… every time I see her, the same symptoms happen. Her and I are quite close. There are no doubts that I want her badly. She knows about it. She feeds it. Teases me. And it quite simply creates a cocktail for me to just want to ravish her. And when it happens… there’s just no way, none, that I can control my feelings. I will never hurt her, and she knows that… but what happens to my body, the shakes… the clawing at her, the intensity…

    Am I a primal?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Varkavall,

      I have some good news for you. These feelings and cravings you are experiencing are normal, and not even that uncommon. Based on what you’re describing, it does sound like you’re beginning to discover a Primal side to yourself. This gut-wrenching feeling is your hunger for a mate. And you don’t necessarily need to feel like an animal to be Primal. All you truly need is to recognize that this is an aspect of yourself that you can embrace. Bring this up with your friend, and very slowly, let those feelings build and release. But don’t forget to be attentive and aware of your partner too.

      If you ever have any further questions or concerns, you’re always welcome to ask. Either here or through my contact page.

      Good luck to you.


  7. Thank you so much for this explanation. I could never put into word these feelings I had and I’m glad I was finally able to come across this website. Thanks again!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Wow okay. Thank you so much. I feel much more normal right now for smelling dominance. And wanting to bite and scratch and fight my playmates. I understand my need to be overpowered to be able to become submissive now. Till now i just thought i was some kind of bratty sub. Also the concept of polyamorous relationships always made sense to me and my friend actually thought i was kidding when i told him I wanted a pack. 😂 So i guess i’ll just keep on running till someone claims me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Could be your sub with alpha. But with another prey you take dominance.

      I got strong will in sosial life. But I’m prey/sub with high pain tolerance in my sex life. Everytime an alpha tries to control their beast side I automaticly but a fight and run. So I like strong submission for myself. I do cute and cuddly but I need to feel the alpha is in control.

      With prey I automaticly fight even go wild but the satisfaction is only in orgasm but then I feel part missing in my head.

      With non primal dom I can easily be submissive but the talking and weird sexual preferenses make me sometimes loose my orgasm. The free will taken away and instinctual shutdown makes me feel cheap than a woman.

      With non primal I feel like my sexual goddess the beta wants out and is scrathing my head. As a prey I test out my partner. Many think I’m rough if they have zero pain tolerance. And the 70% think I’m sexual talented. But the actually what I myself find thinking when this is over. Sometimes I get orgasm if I get to scratch, bite and use my sexual noises. But sadly faking it so easy that I feel ashamed when men think they rock my world.

      I think as instinct the state of mind missing from the partner even for split of second kicks in the fight response. If I feel the strong nuture response from an alpha I automaticly soften, lick, hug, do touching and giggle like I was back in high school. So I think like wolf have strong female betas this could be the case. So I wouldn’t say I’m switch but strong beta.

      But as how I see myself is a human animal not a wolf. I let out my natural side come out. I automaticly smell, touch, taste, hear and follow my partner. My adreline kicks in and instincts go loose. I stop thinking. I act by sheer feel. So it’s both. I think state of being and mind. Like humans want to have sex and multiple. Primal play is an echo of our ancestories animal urge. How my animal side works for me in sosial situations. I automaticly looking other peoples eyes and hand movements. I analyze all the time. I also feel strong connection to nature and I hunt.


      1. I think a lot of guys are intimidated, but there’s certainly a lot of women who’ve been shamed into being submissive. As a man who identifies as prey it’s hard to find women who are even willing to play bite. I want to feel like I’m going to be eaten alive, I want scratches an teeth marks, I want her to look at me with lust and hunger that can’t be satiated unless she takes me the way a tigress takes a deer, or a cat takes a juicy rat.


  9. I would love to have a few beautiful young Female predators “fighting” over me like a pride of lionesses fighting over prey. How does one help women feel comfortable in shrugging off their inhibitions so that one can as prey satiate them?


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