Things have been pretty rough the last couple of months. I told myself this was going to be the year I would start making more regular posts and help this blog really take off. At the start, things were going OK, and I was able to consistently put out a good handful of posts each month. However, I’ve been finding it hard to talk about anything the last few months, other than the Smut Marathon. But last night I was thinking about how there was much I wanted to talk about, and all the story ideas I have literally laying around in composition notebooks and pocket pads and began to wonder why I was feeling this creative wall in front of me.
It started off with the usual thought: ‘I’m just not feeling creative today, so I’ll take a day or two off’, and those couple days turned into a week, which turned into a month, then two months, and now I think it’s been a solid three months since I wrote a short story that wasn’t for the Smut Marathon. It’s not as though I haven’t been trying, but each time I try to put some words down, I only manage about 30-50 before I end up quitting. Until now, I couldn’t really figure out what was wrong with me.
When I ask people for advice on removing a block, most said ‘take a break’, but I was already doing that. Some said to play video games, or do something menial until I feel like writing again. I’ll admit, that honestly does help, and I often forget that that was what helped me out of my funks every time I tried it. I do love video games, and it had been forever since I had done dailies on Neverwinter, or farmed relics on Warframe (it still blows my mind that both of those games are free to play). But it was the menial part of these activities that made me realize something. I was letting my mind go blank as I played those games, so my mind naturally rebooted itself and got me wanting to write again. But if I needed to get my mind to go blank first, then that meant there was something else clogging the creative pipes in the first place. Something I found hard to let go.
I try my absolute best to keep politics out of my site. Not so I don’t ruffle any feathers, but because this is meant to be a place where I can share the stories I’ve written and share the writing tips I’ve learned along the way with all of you. But like I said, I realized that a writing block can often be caused by something else weighing on your mind. For me, it’s been a combination of negative feedback and recent developments in politics, vis-a-vis the children being forcefully separated from their parents and being placed in camps. Told they would never see their families again, being treated like animals, and then to hear the shitiest of media outlets trying to convince us these are basically ‘summer camps’ and often claiming that these camps are a better alternative to most of the projects other people have lived in. it’s kept me in a state of near-constant rage, and I’ve been able to think of nothing but how I could possibly help in this situation.
I wonder if I should make a donation, or try to hold a charity live stream? And if I do, would many people show up? Would more give their time and charity if I spread the word on this platform? Should I ask people who follow me on this platform to cross over into my gaming platform? Honestly, these issues still haunt my mind, but I have to get back to doing what I do here at some point. I just want everyone to know that I haven’t gone anywhere, and I don’t intend to let this blog die. It’s just more difficult than before to get motivated, is all. Things will change, and I’ll get back on my feet.
I already wrote this much just today.