If there’s one thing we can always depend on when it comes to the internet is: people like to use it for sex. And why not? It allows us to connect with people all over the world, and even with people who live fairly close to us, but we never knew existed. No longer do we have to make choices like whether you should stay with a significant other you don’t like because you have no better options. And now, we have the option of connecting with someone for casual sex without the preamble. With this comes the age of adult dating sites.
As the internet has grown more accessible over the last 20 years, so too, have these hookup sites where people can connect, engage, meet, and enjoy themselves in whichever way they prefer. They’ve been around as long as they have mainly because there’s been an ever-constant demand for them. Over the past several years, however, there seems to be a decline for people to continue using them, or start to, at all. Many are turned away by the prospect of toxic men, bots, scams and other things that have given hookup sites a bad reputation. So, the question becomes: are these sites even still relevant now in 2019? Why bother using them at all?
That really depends more on what it is that you want out of a hookup site. There are people who sign up for all kinds of reasons, and your motivation will likely affect how well it works for you. Some are looking for a quick fling, some a more long-term relationship, some are looking for like-minded individuals for a specific reason, and some are just browsing. To this end, I can say that there are some sites more suited to your needs, while others may not have what you’re looking for. There is still much you can gain from the right site, so long as you know what you want.
I understand how it can seem daunted or exhausting, especially when you have to worry about unsolicited dick pics, bots, scammers, and all of these “Instant Hookup” and “Just sign up and fuck” promises they can’t deliver. But for as long as adult websites have existed, there have been people who try to take advantage of it. The process for finding what you want hasn’t changed, it’s only how we approach it. First and foremost, it’s not a good idea to just ‘dive on in’ and look for whatever is most flashy. Look for reviews of well-established companies first. There are already many adult dating sites out there that have been around for close to twenty years and are still considered the best options to this day.
Once you find a couple that has the features you like, look for these additional features to get the most out of your experience:
Is there a “free” version?
Many dating sites help entice new users by allowing them to sign up to make a profile free of charge. Of course, there are many options that will be inaccessible unless you buy a paid membership, but by starting off as a free member, you can get a sneak peek as to what you can expect later. Browse around the other profiles and see some of the people who made the commitment. Do they provide a lot of info into who they are, is there a system for matching people, can you customize your profile, etc.? Much of what you can do may be restricted, but you can still see just enough to know if it’s right for you and make the decision to buy a membership later.
Connection creates intimacy
If there’s anything we’ve learned about casual hookups in the last couple years, it’s that looks alone aren’t enough of a reason to have a one-night stand anymore. Whether or not you just want a fling, you’re going to have some interaction with the person on the other side of the screen. In this case, it really helps to be comfortable with that person before you agree to any sort of physical meet up. If you find you can make a real connection with that person, even if only briefly, there’s a much better chance that your eventual tryst will be more enjoyable and memorable. It’s worth taking that time to fill out your profile with personal interests, likes, and dislikes.
Many adult dating sites have functions that utilize this information to help connect you with like-minded people, taking away some of the legwork. Some even provide a ‘journal’ function, much like your profile’s own blog. A place where you can write your thoughts, feelings, and details of recent events. This can be a huge asset in finding someone you can really enjoy being with. Or even a couple, if that’s the type of experience you’re looking to have.
Wide user-base and semi bot-free
It may be a bit much to expect that any adult website will be free of any possible bot accounts looking to sell you memberships to scam sites, but there are some out there that have a pretty good screening process for filtering them out as best as possible. Same goes for the more toxic users. People looking solely for something closer to instant gratification will likely clear out if they feel it’s not worth it to pay for results they don’t want, which cuts down on some of the more cringe-worthy interactions you may have. Whether you’re looking for something temporary, long-term, or a casual encounter for a specific kink in mind, chances are, a wider user-base will greatly increase your odds of finding a match.
As our ability to connect with each other over our PCs continues to grow, we can only hope that online dating can adapt to accommodate our sex lives as well. With a better understanding of what we’re looking for, it’s not too much to ask that a dating site can provide what we want to find. While apps like Tinder and PoF have become much more readily available, I still believe there are ways adult dating sites can continue to provide more of what we’re looking for and provide the results we want. Do you use dating sites? Tell me more about your experiences in the comments section below.