Disclaimer: This review contains affiliate links.
I feel like I’ve only just gotten started with toy reviews, and just last week, I received an email to review something pretty special. The message came from a team of engineers in Oslo, a division of a larger engineering firm, that asked me to beta-test a new product. I was absolutely intrigued and took a look at their website for more details. Shortly thereafter, I accepted, quite excited. Roughly a week later, I could barely contain my excitement when a package was delivered to my doorstep.
Right off the bat, the Handy arrives in one of the sleekest, eye-catching packages I’ve ever received. I don’t think iPhones even come in cases this nice. Along with it are the Handy itself, a power cable that looks like it could charge my laptop, and a body-safe TPR sleeve designed optimally for the Handy’s function. In addition, there is an instruction manual detailing everything you need to know and two samples of lubricant.
The provided sleeve isn’t particularly special. It’s a common transparent jelly sleeve with a bumpy interior, but for the purposes of the Handy, it does the job just fine. Not to mention, one of the great options available is the ability to swap it out with a different sleeve, should you have one.
The story of the Handy is also particularly interesting. The inventor, Alexander, was having drinks with his friends when the topic of sex came up. As an engineer, he stated he could absolutely create a male masturbator better than any other on the market. What essentially began as a joke turned into a serious endeavor, and after several years of research, design, and production, the Handy became the fruit of that endeavor. Something I’ve learned from people like Alexander is this: when someone puts in this much time to research, experiment, try out, and reverse-engineer many of the sleeves currently on the market, you can believe a man like that knows exactly what he’s doing, and how he’s going to do it!
Now the big question: how does it do? First, let me break down getting it set up. You begin by applying lube to your sleeve and inserting your penis into it as far as it comfortably goes. When you plug in the power cord, the Handy will need about 3 seconds to calibrate to it’s ‘start’ position. From there, you can attach it to the sleeve using the Handy’s Truegrip velcro strap. Now just push the power button, and the Handy will begin to stroke you.
Please excuse the poor quality of my phone.
In my experience, it was a bit tricky to use the Truegrip band, at first, but I quickly figured it out and kept the sleeve pretty well secured on myself. Nervously, I pushed the power button and braced myself for whatever was going to happen. I should clarify that I’ve never used any sex toys that were machine-operated, so I had no idea what to even expect. The experience was both familiar and unfamiliar to me. I had used sleeves like this in the past, but there’s always that difference in sensation when you stroke yourself versus having someone do it for you. Once Handy was started, I found it was very easy to operate. You need to keep your hand on the top of the device, but I found it was easy enough to operate the controls with my thumb, and the layout of the controls was very easy to understand.
The Handy has a variable stroke length of 0-110 mm and is capable of performing 10 strokes per second at max speed. Honestly, I never thought I would be writing a review that included strokes per second. Is that going to be a thing now? A small detail that really surprised me is the way Handy actually slows down a bit when approaching the base of the stroke. It’s a small thing to consider, but it just goes to show how much thought was really put into its design.
When I first made the announcement that I was going to be reviewing this amazing product on Twitter, I also posted this photo, captioning it with my curiosity as to why it would need wifi and Bluetooth. (Again, sorry for the bad quality. This is why I’m not a photographer)
Some friends of mine were rightly curious as well and postulated a few theories. When I took another look at Handy’s website, I was blown away by the answer. But I have left them curious long enough, so here’s why:
Handy is not only an incredibly smart masturbator with 10 different sensors, a dual processor, a brushless motor, and is universally suitable for penises of all shapes and sizes. It’s also extremely 3rd-party accessible!
How accessible? I’ll tell you. It’s capable of connecting to your smartphone, allowing you or your partner to access controls from their mobile. But it’s certainly not the first sex toy capable of that. How about video synchronization for your favorite porn sites? VR integration? Well that’s uncommon, but it’s not the only one, right? Let’s take it a step further with compatibility with Amazon Echo and Google Home. Impressed yet? There’s more! You know the movement sensors on your smartphone? Handy can react to that as well.
Imagine it: A long-distance handjob. You’re talking to your lover through Skype, and he gets Handy ready for use. You connect to his device through your smartphone and switch on motion controls. Now, all you need to do is hold your phone and move it up and down to start stroking him. You shake your phone faster, and Handy strokes faster. Short, rapid shakes cause Handy to make short, rapid strokes. You raise your phone a bit higher, still making short, rapid shakes, and Handy responds by moving higher and making short, rapid strokes that focus on the head of his penis. Even when you need to pause to switch arms (because let’s be honest, it happens), Handy will still respond with a short pause as well.
To top it all off, Handy is completely IFTTT ready, and will soon have an open API. What this means for non-techy people is this: in the future, coders will be able to write programs that can connect to Handy for even more specific purposes. The first thought to come to my mind when I learned of this was the possibility of using Handy for Fap Hero challenge videos. And if you don’t know what that is, Google is your friend.
One thing that is for certain is that the coming months will see many new improvements and wider availability of Handy products the world over. At least, that’s what I am hoping for. I know I don’t have a rating system on my blog, but if I did, I’d have to give Handy a higher-than-max score and recommend that anyone who wants to experience masturbation in ways they never thought possible to purchase this product and follow the Handy team for news on their newest innovations.
The Handy is currently priced at $159 USD plus S&H.
The Handy team is also a very helpful bunch, and are available to answer your questions 24/7. You can contact them through their website, and purchase your own Handy from there as well. I hope to be writing another review of their new features soon.
Disclaimer: This review contains affiliate links.