Those of you who know me and know this blog are already aware that I practice Primal play, a form of BDSM that pulls away the mask of societal norms to allow our most basic selves out to play. A lot of activities fall under the range of Primal Play, including these two kinks.
I always wondered if there would ever be a time when I would want to write this. A couple reasons for this included: the way I viewed masturbation was, as a male who found pleasure only through his penis, that a solo handjob was going to be about as good as it gets because anything more than that was just the same thing, but with extra steps and a higher cost. Secondly, I didn’t think there was anything significant to say about it, or at least nothing that we don’t already know about male masturbation. I felt guilty because so many great bloggers and educators are out there right now trying to start a conversation on female pleasure, orgasm, and understanding how the vulva and clitoris work. And you should definitely be listening to them because they’re out there giving away free information on how to be a better lover, so why not take it?
It’s been quite a long time since I last wrote on the topic of Primal Play. A couple of years ago, I wrote about my findings on what Primal Play is, and my discovery that I am also primal. It would be some time until I would write another post about what it means to be primal, and how primals interact with the rest of us. Since then, I find myself in a position where I feel I’ve learned a lot more about Primal Play through my personal experience as a primal, learning from other primals, as well as seeing a need for another post delving even further into what Primal Play entails. Several, actually.
The other day, I received a message from my wife about a job her father was contracted to do. For context, her father is a ventilation contractor and tinsmith, and often takes jobs way out of town. His client is a successful entrepreneur who owns several bars and a couple strip clubs and was now opening a swingers club in Montreal. An interesting tidbit she also shared with me was an offer this club owner extended to his patrons, offering free food and drink at the grand opening party for everyone who buys a paid membership before opening day. More than 1,400 have already signed up, which kinda took my breath away. I mean, I knew swinging was becoming more mainstream among couples, but I didn’t know the lifestyle had grown so large that 1,400 people within driving distance of this club would readily sign up on such short notice. Naturally, I was curious to learn more.
A little over a year ago, I came across something completely new to me when I made an account on Fetlife. As I created my account, one of the questions they asked for was my BDSM role. I was going to select ‘Master’ as I always had, but found a few different options further down the dropdown list. Each of them was listed as ‘Primal’, ‘Primal Dom’, and ‘Primal sub’. In my curiosity, I went on to find out just what a Primal is, which led to the discovery that I am a Primal and prompted me to write an article all about what I found, and what makes someone a Primal.
A couple weeks ago, as I perused through my Facebook feed, I found a link posted by a friend of a friend. The link described a website known as Bellesa, which was a porn site specializing in porn aimed at women. I didn’t take it seriously, at first, since I knew every porn site had a “For Women” section. However, upon reading further, and going to see the site for myself, I was very surprised to see how wrong I was.
Erotic Hypnosis is already an incredibly popular sub-genre of both written erotica, and porn, which entails one character or actor being hypnotized by another for the purposes of turning them into an obedient sexual partner. In recent years, it’s been gradually introduced into the BDSM community as a new extension of D/s practices. For hypnosubs(if I can call them that) it creates an entirely new opportunity to show vulnerability to their dommes by surrendering control of their mind itself. What follows can vary anywhere from roleplay in the form of guided mind journeys, to full-on mentally-induced orgasms. Others have used the practice to also condition their partners to overcome certain fears or mindsets when it comes to sex.
I received a request some time ago for a story involving a Daddy Dom, and his little. At first, I didn’t think it would be too hard to do, as I’ve seen Daddy dom/little relationships in the past. As I began doing some research into this particular BDSM lifestyle, I found that this lifestyle is actually far more complex than I initially though. In my prior experiences, I had only ever seen the sex side of the relationship. At the time, I assumed that’s all there was: two consenting adults enjoying sex with each other, and each roleplaying their part as the sweet, innocent girl, and the protective, dominant male. In reality, there is far more to it than that.
As I was doing some research for an upcoming story involving cuckoldry, I realized there was much more to this fetish than first meets the eye. As a writer of erotica, I like to understand why people take part in certain fetishes, and what appeals to them to commit to it. In turn, I like to share what I find with you, so readers can understand more about what arouses them, and writers can use the knowledge for their own work as well. It’s simple enough to proclaim that some people are just weak-willed, or easily manipulated because they’ll never do any better. But there’s much more to it than meets the eye. Cuckoldry is actually far more psychological than it is sociological, and is not at all limited to less than average-looking men. Nor is it limited to just men.
I can still recall the first time I raised my hand up, held my palm open, and swung it down onto the tender flesh of a woman’s buttocks. The room rang with a sharp, satisfying tone, followed by a whimper of pleasure and pain. The pale skin on her rear was already turning pink, and formed the shape of my hand. She took a breath, dipped her head, looked back at me with her brown eyes, and said, “Again”. Ok, so maybe that was how my second experience in spanking went.
Now, in case you happen to be one of those curious anomalies that doesn’t know, allow me to explain what these kinks are. Voyeurism is the act of watching someone in the process of disrobing, or engaging in a sexual act. This can be further broken down by consensual voyeurism, where one person watches their partner masturbate, or they watch a live cam show. It can also include observing a couple having sex in a public space, like a night club, because there is an implied consent when you know you’re going to be seen. There is also non-consensual voyeurism, which generally involves the more shady acts, like up-skirt shots, hidden cameras, and cliched peepholes.
Now, to get into specifics, it’s a style of BDSM that deals with sex in a manner that is much more animalistic than conventional sex, or what they refer to as ‘Primal Play’. It’s not just being a bit more rough with your partner that makes this animalistic, no, I mean this in a much more literal sense.