Tag: advice

The Fuck-et List

I’ve been thinking over this for a while after a conversation I had with a friend some time ago. I had mentioned how hearing about the personal fantasies of others really helps with creating plots for erotica, at least for me. My friend then mentioned that they had a private list of fantasies and sexual acts they wanted to perform with their partner. I won’t go into details, but I remembered the name my friend used for that list: “The Fuck-et list”. There’s no arguing the clear reference to the Bucket List with Morgan Freeman, and how it relates to one’s sexuality. 

4 tips to get you from ‘Less Amateurish’ to ‘Pretty Good’

I remember when reading Stephen King’s memoirs, there was some insight he gave, and I’m paraphrasing: “A bad writer can become a good writer. A good writer can become a great writer. But a bad writer cannot become a great writer.” In following this, I wrote 9 Tips to get you from Amateur to Less Amateurish which was an outline of writing advice collected from a variety of popular authors. Sometimes, I go back to that article to remind myself of what I’m doing wrong now, and what I should be doing. Now it’s time to move onwards and upwards. I’ve collected some more tips to explain where to go once the quality of your writing is no longer the problem. It’s not as many tips as last time, but still just as helpful.

Survival wants to get her work out there.

Dear Charlton,

Though money would be a a nice little reward for a job well done, I am not interested in writing Erotica for a source of income. I simply enjoy writing Erotica because it makes me happy. My questions are as follows:

Is it feasible to write Erotica anonymously (since I do have family)?

If it’s done anonymously, where would I create a blog for it?

Is it allowed on Wordpress, or do you have any ideas on other sites that are more accepting of this subject?

Signed,
Survival

Goddess wants her inner-critic to shut up

Dear Charlton,
I’m a plus size woman with a self esteem problem. I’d like to be more adventurous in bed but somehow I always feel like I’m not enough. I sometimes even feel like I don’t deserve to be sexy or have a healthy sex life ’cause I’m plus size. My man tells me everyday that he loves me and that I’m sexy but it’s hard to shut the voice in my head that says otherwise. Do you have any advice for me?
Thanks a lot.
-Goddess

LMI wants more spontaneity in the bedroom

Dear Charlton,

Nice to talk again. My partner although well meaning, keeps on asking what i want and would like each time we get intimate. As much as this is sweet it can kill my mood alarmingly quick. Especially when i want to be in the heat of the moment and tearing each others clothes off… How can I explain this to him without hurting his feelings?

-LMI

Rosegirl seeks to open a discussion about kink.

Dear Charlton,
I think a lot of non-vanilla types have trouble talking about their preferences with a new dating partner. Usually it stems from a bad experience of scaring someone off early in a relationship. What is the best way to open up a discussion about things like bdsm or inviting a third person to join in?

-Rosegirl

Writing erotica… to make money

In recent days, I’ve been seeing quite a few people on Facebook groups and Reddit pages discussing the viability of erotica as a source of substantial income. Since the craze ran during 2015-2016, everyone and their mother turned up to lay their stake into that particular oil well. For a while, things were going well. Demand was higher, and supply was much higher, and it had never been a better time to start as an erotica writer.

What’s your kink?

I was speaking to a friend of mine the other day about a writer’s voice, when it comes to creating short stories. I mentioned my friend might be in their mid twenties, based on the voice of their writing. To my surprise, I was a bit off, but I was also not the first to…

Where do bisexuals belong?

Recently, I’ve been reading several posts from other bloggers, friends on Facebook, and on several other websites, about the topic of bisexuality. In almost all of these cases, there seems to be a huge conundrum over whether or not these men and women feel like they always have to validate themselves to the people around them. Saddest of all, is the struggle to feel accepted, both with friends and family, and within their own group. It breaks my heart to see so many people have to deal with those who say bisexuality doesn’t exist, leading them to question their own identity.

On Matters of Men, Romance, and Insecurity

Everyone, from those who raise us at early boyhood, to the women we pursue, all play a part in our behaviors, and yes, our egos. Of course, we’re becoming much more aware of the cultural stigma of boys being taught to always ‘man up’ and not to show emotion, but it’s more than just our upbringing, it’s those around us during adulthood who play a role as well. If you think back, there has probably been several instances where you, or someone you know, has made some dramatic exclamation about the opposite sex. Whether it be a guy who rolls his eyes, muttering, “Women, huh?” or a lady groaning in frustration, shouting, “Ugh, MEN!!!” What this does is further build up the stigma of every person of the opposite sex only ever behaving in a particular fashion. “He can’t help it, he’s a guy” or, “What more can you expect from a man?” they all play a role in creating this image of what a man is supposed to be like.