Tag: advice

Are adult dating sites relevant in 2019?

If there’s one thing we can always depend on when it comes to the internet is: people like to use it for sex. And why not? It allows us to connect with people all over the world, and even with people who live fairly close to us, but we never knew existed. No longer do we have to make choices like whether you should stay with a significant other you don’t like because you have no better options. And now, we have the option of connecting with someone for casual sex without the preamble. With this comes the age of adult dating sites.

Is an NSA relationship right for you?

“Friends with benefits” is a name that conjures up mixed emotions in a lot of people. Many are reminded of the Mila Kunis/Justin Timberlake film of the same name. Others have thoughts about other times the mainstream media has portrayed it as unsuccessful, or the people involved become ‘involved’ anyway as a result. Conservative people tend to see relationships that don’t have an inherent emotional investment as something that is immoral and “bad news”. But then again, of course, they do.

On Swingers: 3 Benefits of Swinging

Some time ago, I made a rather lengthy post delving into what the swinger lifestyle is like and the very happy couples who have chosen to take it up. I wanted to touch on it once more and explore some of the other aspects behind the lifestyle. If you haven’t read it yet, you should. I spoke of what swinging is and what it isn’t, its portrayal in media, and the fears behind them. Many of those aforementioned fears are mainly based around stigmas, and worries of infidelity or damaged relationships. And depending on the level of trust in one another, those fears may or may not be justified.

Primal Play: Setting The Scene

It’s been quite a long time since I last wrote on the topic of Primal Play. A couple of years ago, I wrote about my findings on what Primal Play is, and my discovery that I am also primal. It would be some time until I would write another post about what it means to be primal, and how primals interact with the rest of us. Since then, I find myself in a position where I feel I’ve learned a lot more about Primal Play through my personal experience as a primal, learning from other primals, as well as seeing a need for another post delving even further into what Primal Play entails. Several, actually.

The Laundry List

The name may not allude to this, but the laundry list is a commonly-made mistake among most first-time writers, whether it be writers of erotica, smut, or other genres. It’s an understandably easy mistake to make, but it’s still enough to turn off any reader from the get-go. I mentioned this in an earlier post where I explained a few things to help take your writing to the next level, but I’d like to give this one a bit more emphasis.

Choosing Your Own Erotic Adventure

Do you remember those ‘Choose your own adventure’ books from the 80’s with the elaborate cover art, written by Edward Packard? I remember first finding one in middle school, around 20 years ago now, and thinking how innovative I thought it was. My school’s library had dozens of them, and I think I read every single one of them. 

The Fuck-et List

I’ve been thinking over this for a while after a conversation I had with a friend some time ago. I had mentioned how hearing about the personal fantasies of others really helps with creating plots for erotica, at least for me. My friend then mentioned that they had a private list of fantasies and sexual acts they wanted to perform with their partner. I won’t go into details, but I remembered the name my friend used for that list: “The Fuck-et list”. There’s no arguing the clear reference to the Bucket List with Morgan Freeman, and how it relates to one’s sexuality. 

4 tips to get you from ‘Less Amateurish’ to ‘Pretty Good’

I remember when reading Stephen King’s memoirs, there was some insight he gave, and I’m paraphrasing: “A bad writer can become a good writer. A good writer can become a great writer. But a bad writer cannot become a great writer.” In following this, I wrote 9 Tips to get you from Amateur to Less Amateurish which was an outline of writing advice collected from a variety of popular authors. Sometimes, I go back to that article to remind myself of what I’m doing wrong now, and what I should be doing. Now it’s time to move onwards and upwards. I’ve collected some more tips to explain where to go once the quality of your writing is no longer the problem. It’s not as many tips as last time, but still just as helpful.

Survival wants to get her work out there.

Dear Charlton,

Though money would be a a nice little reward for a job well done, I am not interested in writing Erotica for a source of income. I simply enjoy writing Erotica because it makes me happy. My questions are as follows:

Is it feasible to write Erotica anonymously (since I do have family)?

If it’s done anonymously, where would I create a blog for it?

Is it allowed on Wordpress, or do you have any ideas on other sites that are more accepting of this subject?

Signed,
Survival

Goddess wants her inner-critic to shut up

Dear Charlton,
I’m a plus size woman with a self esteem problem. I’d like to be more adventurous in bed but somehow I always feel like I’m not enough. I sometimes even feel like I don’t deserve to be sexy or have a healthy sex life ’cause I’m plus size. My man tells me everyday that he loves me and that I’m sexy but it’s hard to shut the voice in my head that says otherwise. Do you have any advice for me?
Thanks a lot.
-Goddess

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