It has been a tough choice, given that I'm already committed to unlearning a lot of the negative behaviors I grew into from youth, but I do think that something that continues to be a constant struggle is my predilection towards competition. In particular, feelings of envy and jealousy towards others.
I was really on the fence over whether I should post at all regarding the issue of OnlyFans banning pornographic content. Still, a bit of delving convinced me that I should probably put some things together to help provide some perspective around why this is happening.
CW: ranting/info dump This isn't as much of a continuation of the previous version of this post as it is more of an update on all that has occurred. But it's also me just wanting to type out all of the things I have learned about myself and of others, based on recent experiences and decisions. Covid and quarantine has had me fucked for the past eighteen months it has been keeping us all prisoner, and sapped me of any creativity or productivity. But a lot has happened in the interrim that, while it seemed small or inconsequential, to talk about at the time; putting it together now is providing some interesting perspective I was inspired to put here. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, but if you're interested in a trip of introspection, then please read on.
No matter how many ways I think about this, or consider if this is the right time, or if I have waited long enough to process everything that is going on since the quarantine, I'm just going to tell myself, as well as all of you, that this is my state of things. It may turn out that I delete this post after a few days, or even change my opinion completely in a week or month or whatever. So, fuck it.
I announced this over Twitter near the start of the month but failed to make any mention here. I'll be participating in a fantastic event in Montreal this weekend with several other lovely, fellow smut writers I've come to be acquainted with over the past couple years. For 12 hours, we'll be furiously writing and posting some tasty smut for you to enjoy as we raise funds for the NNAF Abortion Funds, a grassroots organization building power to remove financial, logistical, cultural and political barriers to abortion access. So if you enjoy smut and feel that women's health is an increasingly important issue, you'll want to stick around for this!
For a few years after my enlistment ended, I felt like I had some understanding of life and what it was supposed to be, but much of it was still a great mystery to me, and no matter where I looked, or who I talked to, there was always something missing or a there would be a huge hole in their logic, or my logic.
I didn't use Tumblr very much when I had an account. When I did, I used it as an author platform for myself back when I was still a fledgling writer creating YA fantasy that I was never completely happy with. I was still arrogant as hell when I wrote a couple of posts explaining, from my perspective, what made for good fiction versus bad fiction. Gods, I was so arrogant. But I later discovered that, more and more, there was an adult community growing there as well.
I've delayed myself in writing this a few days as I have needed time to think about what I wanted to say, and how I wanted to say it. I'm sure you've noticed by now, or you're noticing at this very moment, that badge over to the right of this post. (Probably not, if you're reading this on mobile) As of a few days ago, I was placed on the list of Top 100 Sex Blogs of 2018, and it has really offset a series of mixed feelings I've been having recently about this whole thing I have been working on over the past 2 years I've been writing for Forbidden Writings. If you'll indulge me.
Things have been pretty rough the last couple of months. I told myself this was going to be the year I would start making more regular posts and help this blog really take off. At the start, things were going OK, and I was able to consistently put out a good handful of posts each month. However, I've been finding it hard to talk about anything the last few months, other than the Smut Marathon. But last night I was thinking about how there was much I wanted to talk about, and all the story ideas I have literally laying around in composition notebooks and pocket pads and began to wonder why I was feeling this creative wall in front of me.
Earlier today, an article was published by NYTimes writer Ross Douthat titled 'The Redistribution of Sex'. Which, that fucking title alone is cringy enough to make any vagina go drier than a Sahara desert. But in light of the recent attack in Toronto by a self-proclaimed "incel" in retaliation for not receiving the fornication he felt he deserved. Mr. Douche-hat then goes on to suggest, in elaborate detail and political heehaw, that the idea of a redistribution of sex, the very thing the "incel" movement is asking for, isn't something we should immediately dismiss. In fact, he believes we should be talking about it more!
I was speaking to a friend of mine the other day about a writer's voice, when it comes to creating short stories. I mentioned my friend might be in their mid twenties, based on the voice of their writing. To my surprise, I was a bit off, but I was also not the first to... Continue Reading →
Has anyone seen my muse? I can't seem to find my muse. She's small enough to sit on my shoulder, and spends her days whispering naughty ideas in my ear. She's been missing for a couple months now, and I'm starting to get a little worried. If found, please return her to me. I still... Continue Reading →