Tag: relationships

Redefining Masculinity: Male Ego

Often regarded as the most defining feature of masculinity, whether it be toxic, fragile, or otherwise, all centers around a man’s ego. At its simplest of definitions, the ego is the internalized creation of the self. It’s literally what defines who we are and governs how we react to certain situations, and how we interact with people. The male ego is often associated with toxic masculinity or fragile masculinity but is not limited solely to these archetypes. To really understand the role it plays, it’s essential to understand how it works, and how it’s not just limited to men.

Redefining Masculinity: Preface

The last several years have seen a rise in social media speaking up about fragile masculinity. Jokes have risen up about men needing to only get products or services that cater to traditional male stereotypes. A lot of men feel the need to defend their masculinity with acts of violence, abuse, or a display of logic that is relevant only to him; as if that would prove them right. But I think it’s time for all of us to have a serious talk about how damaged the perceived idea of masculinity really is. I’m not one to say ‘This is how things are, and this is how we should treat it’, But I would like to open up a dialogue with all of you about the issue of masculinity. Because whether directly or indirectly, all of us are involved in how it’s defined.

The Fuck-et List

I’ve been thinking over this for a while after a conversation I had with a friend some time ago. I had mentioned how hearing about the personal fantasies of others really helps with creating plots for erotica, at least for me. My friend then mentioned that they had a private list of fantasies and sexual acts they wanted to perform with their partner. I won’t go into details, but I remembered the name my friend used for that list: “The Fuck-et list”. There’s no arguing the clear reference to the Bucket List with Morgan Freeman, and how it relates to one’s sexuality. 

“Amore: A Love Story” by Alexa Nichols – A Review

I originally pre-ordered “Amore: A Love Story” back in January, with the intention of reading it and writing this review soon after. Needless to say, I’m a bit late, and I apologize for that. But I find that I’m kicking myself for not having read this sooner. This love story by Alexa Nichols is much more than it appears on the surface. It’s both complex in it’s story-telling, and rife with erotic pleasures to excite you as you read.

Goddess wants her inner-critic to shut up

Dear Charlton,
I’m a plus size woman with a self esteem problem. I’d like to be more adventurous in bed but somehow I always feel like I’m not enough. I sometimes even feel like I don’t deserve to be sexy or have a healthy sex life ’cause I’m plus size. My man tells me everyday that he loves me and that I’m sexy but it’s hard to shut the voice in my head that says otherwise. Do you have any advice for me?
Thanks a lot.
-Goddess

LMI wants more spontaneity in the bedroom

Dear Charlton,

Nice to talk again. My partner although well meaning, keeps on asking what i want and would like each time we get intimate. As much as this is sweet it can kill my mood alarmingly quick. Especially when i want to be in the heat of the moment and tearing each others clothes off… How can I explain this to him without hurting his feelings?

-LMI

Rosegirl seeks to open a discussion about kink.

Dear Charlton,
I think a lot of non-vanilla types have trouble talking about their preferences with a new dating partner. Usually it stems from a bad experience of scaring someone off early in a relationship. What is the best way to open up a discussion about things like bdsm or inviting a third person to join in?

-Rosegirl

What’s your kink?

I was speaking to a friend of mine the other day about a writer’s voice, when it comes to creating short stories. I mentioned my friend might be in their mid twenties, based on the voice of their writing. To my surprise, I was a bit off, but I was also not the first to…

Where do bisexuals belong?

Recently, I’ve been reading several posts from other bloggers, friends on Facebook, and on several other websites, about the topic of bisexuality. In almost all of these cases, there seems to be a huge conundrum over whether or not these men and women feel like they always have to validate themselves to the people around them. Saddest of all, is the struggle to feel accepted, both with friends and family, and within their own group. It breaks my heart to see so many people have to deal with those who say bisexuality doesn’t exist, leading them to question their own identity.

On Matters of Men, Romance, and Insecurity

Everyone, from those who raise us at early boyhood, to the women we pursue, all play a part in our behaviors, and yes, our egos. Of course, we’re becoming much more aware of the cultural stigma of boys being taught to always ‘man up’ and not to show emotion, but it’s more than just our upbringing, it’s those around us during adulthood who play a role as well. If you think back, there has probably been several instances where you, or someone you know, has made some dramatic exclamation about the opposite sex. Whether it be a guy who rolls his eyes, muttering, “Women, huh?” or a lady groaning in frustration, shouting, “Ugh, MEN!!!” What this does is further build up the stigma of every person of the opposite sex only ever behaving in a particular fashion. “He can’t help it, he’s a guy” or, “What more can you expect from a man?” they all play a role in creating this image of what a man is supposed to be like.